Indeed, one of the highest pleasures is to be more or less unconscious of one’s own existence, to be absorbed in interesting sights, sounds, places, and people. Conversely, one of the greatest pains is to be self-conscious, to feel unabsorbed and cut off from the community and the surrounding world.
Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity
Tango is a gateway to a state of consciousness where mind and body are fully engrossed in the present moment. It is a world filled with senses—the sounds of the music, the sight of our partner and the ronda, the smell of perfume, the inner senses of balance, acceleration, and stretch. It is a world filled with feelings—the pressure of our feet on the floor, our partner’s hand on our back, the warmth of connection, the texture of their movements. We feel curiosity, suspense, excitement, pride, nostalgia, safety, gratitude, joy, happiness, love. Our mind is fully active, but we are resensitized to the world so that our thoughts are saturated by the experiences of the moment leaving no room for regrets about the past or concerns about the future. This world of flow, once discovered, brings tango dancers back night after night in search of the opportunity to reenter. For many, access to this inner world of tango is THE point of the dance and the meaning behind the movements.
The journey to the inner world of tango can be a frustrating one. The trail is difficult to find and there are many ways to lose the path. And when we do arrive, we can be taken away at any moment. We can’t think our way there because those thoughts take up the space in our mind that is needed to fully experience the moment. I can’t tell you how to find your inner world of tango, but I can offer a guide to help you find the path, and help you reorient when you lose the trail. I can offer some reminders that can act as a catalyst to reconnect to sensations and allow them to engulf our thoughts.
Comfort, excitement, and safety are the keys to the inner world of tango while pain, boredom, distraction, and fear bar entry. You begin preparing for your journey to the inner world of tango well before getting on the dance floor. Your state of being before the dance will affect how you show up in the dance. Did you get enough sleep? Are you fed and hydrated? Have you warmed your body up and taken care of any aches or pains that may distract you from the present moment? You make choices that allow the experience to occur. What milonga are we going to? What tanda are you dancing to? Who are we dancing in front of and behind? Who will be your companion on this journey?
When I was young in tango, I thought that everyone should dance with everyone, and that people were just being “snobs” and being too selective. This was because I still thought of the dance in terms of its steps and movements. Later I realized that the journey to the inner world of tango requires comfort and safety in your partner. We can practice with and experience joy dancing with a wide range of people, but the truth is that there is a much smaller group with whom we are able to travel deeper. Each dancer finds their own path to the inner world. I will share mine in case it is of help. I begin by putting my focus on my partner’s spine. The thread of connection to our partner’s center is fragile but
powerful. It contains information about their positioning and preparedness, their breath and heartbeat, their thoughts, and their feelings. Fully committing to the extrospection of my partner’s state of being can be enough to bring me into the inner world.
We need our eyes open for balance, to navigate, and to better read our partner.[*] But the milonga is filled with distractions for the eye. The sparkly clothes shoes of someone, the elegant movements of another, our friend who just walked in, the person taking photos of the dance floor.[†] I use what the great magician Juan Tamariz describes as the pianist’s inward gaze.
The pianist’s gaze is the gaze of someone who is concentrated on his own action, and on the instrument. This is the inward gaze…If it is intense, honest and strong, it may be very attractive too. It is as if we opened a door into ourselves and invited the spectator to come in.
Juan Tamariz, The Five Points in Magic
Use your eyes for the information you need without allowing the extraneous sights to distract you on your journey.
I bring my attention to the contact of my feet with the floor. To the contact of the embrace. To the feelings of my hand in theirs, their hand in mine, my hand on their back and their hand on my back, and the connection and intention of our bodies. I breathe life into these connection points, feeling the air flow into my feet, hands, arms, and chest. I allow the breath to bring with it the sensation of the present moment. I allow thoughts to calmly come and go without judgement, trusting that wherever I am in the moment is where I should be.
We seldom stay in our inner world for long. There are plenty of moments of distraction, boredom, fear, and pain to bring us back to earth. I am constantly entering and exiting my inner world. I often recheck where my focus is, remind myself of the inward gaze, reconnect with my feet and with the connection, and reconnect to my breath. I sometimes find myself focusing too much on these guides, which itself pulls me away from the inner world. I then feel the flash of self-judgement for thinking too much about ways to not think so much. This process is natural. It is a blessing that our internal thoughts are as complex as they are. I slowly find my way back. I ask you to come join me in this inner world of tango, if even for just a moment.
This article was greatly enhanced by the experiences and thoughts shared by Jacqueline Pham, Gabriel Gaumond, and David Zuckerman. Thank you all for your wisdom.
[*] I believe that it is best for both leaders and followers to keep their eyes open but maintain the inward gaze towards their partner.
[†] Still the biggest distraction I have experienced was the one case where a person decided to film me for the entire tanda. Needless to say, I was well removed from the inner world of tango for that tanda.